The Jazz Butcher Lyrics The Best Way
The Best Way
22 documented performances (click to explore)
1985 1 (JBC)
1988 6 (JBC)
1989 8 (JBC)
1990 7 (JBC)
The Butcher Says..

Found On
Fishcotheque .. Edward's Closet .. Spooky .. Unconditional
30 second sampler

sample: [Just keep punching, that's the thing to do.
Remember the words of the philosopher Ken Morgester, who once said "Failure is not falling down, failure is staying down". And that's a good thought for this day, or any day. Say, did you ever grab a wishbone and wish that the chicken you had just served had been tastier? Well that won't happen with Waybest chicken. Waybest is so superb you serve it with no regrets, no apologies. When you take a Waybest chicken from the oven golden-brown and mouth-watering to look at, you know it will delight everybody at the table.

Down on the farm, where the chicken is.

Stuff 'em full of fishmeal, stick 'em in a box
Chop their silly heads off, watch 'em run around
You take out the feathers, throw away the beak
Put them in the freezer for a couple of weeks
And you cook 'em in an oven and you stick 'em on a plate
And you slaver and you wriggle and you say "it looks great"
You make 'em into gravy, get it on your face
It's a shame and it's a disgrace

They eat chicken in the Balkans, chicken in Rome
I bet you even like to eat chicken at home
Chicken in Bolivia, chicken in Peru
I bet eating chicken is a thing you like to do

They get chicken in the Balkans, chicken in Rome
I bet you even like to eat chicken at home
There's chicken in Bolivia, chicken in Peru
Chicken in Kiev's a thing you shouldn't oughtta do

And there's chicken, McChicken, anywhere at all
And chicken's an atrocity, it's vile that's all
There's chicken in Detroit, in Washington Square
Chicken in the high street, chicken everywhere

Chicken on holiday, chicken in jail
Wake up in the morning, there's a chicken in the mail
There's chicken on holiday, chicken in jail
The cats get chicken from the garbage pail

You raise 'em, race 'em, misplace 'em, replace 'em,
You can boil it, or baste it,
Just make sure that you waste it

sample: [No regrets, no apologies... Just keep punching]

Prize turkeys!
I want to see the man in charge!

sample: [Just keep punching]

sample: [I don't want to kill 'em, I want the money]

sample: [No regrets, no apologies]

sample: [I'm hypnotized]

sample: [I don't want to kill 'em, I want the money]

Which came first the chicken or the egg?
They get so damn crazy they eat their own legs (x6)

Stuff 'em full of fishmeal, put 'em on the table
Make 'em into gravy, get it on your shirt front (x3)

It's disgusting!
There's chicken on your shirt front, greasy and thick
Someone tell the manager the chicken is sick
The whole idea is sick. Have another drumstick.
Chicken in the basket is the ladies' pick
Chicken in Camden, Paddington too
They even got chicken in the Regent Park Zoo
There's chicken in China, chicken in Nepal
Chicken over there dead hanging on the wall

There's chicken in Syria, Daar-es-Salaam
The whole population wants to do them harm
There's chicken in Dublin
Chicken in Spain
Chicken in the slaughterhouse
Chicken in the rain
There's chicken in the library and on TV
World-wide symbol of stupidity
But if you ask me, they never had the chance to start with.

Prize turkey's delight! (x2)

Sung to the tune of the 60's/70's TV advert for "Fry's Turkish Delight", as it goes.

Now this is how you get a chicken hypnotized
You look the little motherfucker right in the eyes and say
"Chicken, you will obey"

Ah, they're laughing at the chickens, I can see them

*A mess of samples and scattered words*

Visitor Feedback
Visitors' recent comments for this page [Read all 5 comments] [Add your own]
  • Mondegreen
    el_one_bob[at] - Bob Unlikely
    23Apr2010 9:55 PM (6 years 341 days ago)
    Personally, I always heard "braised duckies".

    Which, I might add, is a good way to cook an otherwise fatty bird.
  • Prize turkeys
    bunny - Fairfax va
    22Dec2005 2:17 PM (11 years 99 days ago)
    I always thought it was Raise Duckies and I refuse to change the way I sing it. I like the image I get when I say Raise Duckies, after all. :)
  • "Prized turkeys!"
    billionbridges[at] - Canada
    4Nov2005 11:44 AM (11 years 147 days ago)
    For the longest time I misheard "Prized turkeys!" as, way for it...

    Rice duckies!

    It had always made perfect sense to me .
  • the Best Way
    purplevioletsquishies[at] - Salem, OR USA
    18Jan2005 2:37 AM (12 years 72 days ago)
    Somehow I get the distinct impression EVERY song done by Jazz Butcher is a good one. I only had exposure to their Distressed Gentlefolk album, Fishcoteque album & their Bloody Nonsense album in the 80's & early 90's. But I've sampled quite a few more of their songs on this site & they were all "bloody" good. I agree a thousand times (or more) with some of the comments posted by others on this site... the Jazz Butcher should make their old songs available again on artist friendly sites so one can at least pay $1.00 per song download to get whatever song of the Jazz Butcher they have been forced for so long to live without. I had the 3 above albums but was short sighted enough to part with them... along with a great song by William Tucker from the Swinging Pistons (who used to be in Ministry) who is now dead & you can't find his album anywhere. It'd be nice if the song he did before he died could be purchased & downloaded on an artist friendly site as well. He did the song "(Ever Since I Was Young), I Liked the Sound Of Machines. When a person cannot get a song like this on eBay or find it anywhere on the web... then things have reached "critical mass."
  • Chickentown
    bradleypeter[at] - Springfield, Mass
    7Jul2001 6:29 AM (15 years 268 days ago)
    I've always wondered if the sampled voice at the beginning of Chickentown was Hartford Ct. radio and tv legend Bob Steele? He was on WTIC Radio and TV for many years, and has only recently retired. Just wondering.

    Enjoy your music and your fertile imagination. When one buys a Jazz Butcher "album" one never knows what to expect, other than it will be interesting.

    Peter Bradley