The Jazz Butcher Lyrics Bicycle Kid
Bicycle Kid
12 documented performances (click to explore)
1988 1 (JBC)
1989 10 (JBC)
1990 1 (JBC)
Found On
Big Planet, Scarey Planet .. ¡Excellent! The Violent Years

He's a bicycle kid, He's got his Mister T. slippers.
He's a bicycle kid, he's eleven years old.
Dog-faced spawn of a working class Tory,
Bicycle kid never does what he's told.
He's a bicycle kid and he wants to get a crossbow.
Bicycle kid had a rabbit that died:
Evil little fucker put his pet through the window,
The he ran to his mother and he cried, cried, cried.


So cry like an onion bicycle kid,
'Coz I'm gonna get your for the things that you did.
Cry like an onion bicycle kid,
You're just another sucker at heart.

Bicyle kid - extortion in the playground.
What does he do with all the money he made?
Bicyle kid in Kentucky Fried Chicken
And the WHAM-BAM-RAMBO machine arcade.
He's a bicycle kid, and his mother's on Valium.
He's a bicycle kid, and his dad's on the lump.
He's a bicycle kid, and his tea's in the micro.
He's a bicycle kid and he's on the dump.


Bicycle kid shitting in a greenhouse.
Bicycle kid down at the aquadrome.
Bicycle kid in trouble with a policeman.
Bicycle kid "he's a good boy at home".
Bicycle kid grow up and get an Escort.

Ford Escort, that is. Eighties wide-boy motor

Bicycle kid grow up and get worse.
Bicycle kid forget to use a condom.
Bicycle kid! It's evolution in reverse!


You're an evil mother fucker.

The Butcher Says..
He's Bicycle Bloke, now.
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Visitors' comments for this page [Add your own]
  • 2 stories: one new, one old
    pwilnyc[at] - Paula, Baltimore, MD, US
    27Jul2006 7:52 AM (10 years 247 days ago)
    My friend Loren met this kid in the parking lot at Target.
    It brought to mind an old story.
  • better drunk and dry
    skwish[at] - portland 0r, U
    2Jan2006 1:56 PM (11 years 88 days ago)
    to big & fat now to cycle,even tho I lost my drvs Lic I still drive, get out of my road bicycle kid!!!