The Jazz Butcher
The Jazz Butcher Lyrics The Best Way


The Best Way
sample: [Just keep punching, that's the thing to do.
Remember the words of the philosopher Ken Morgester, who once said "Failure is not falling down, failure is staying down". And that's a good thought for this day, or any day. Say, did you ever grab a wishbone and wish that the chicken you had just served had been tastier? Well that won't happen with Waybest chicken. Waybest is so superb you serve it with no regrets, no apologies. When you take a Waybest chicken from the oven golden-brown and mouth-watering to look at, you know it will delight everybody at the table.

Down on the farm, where the chicken is. Stuff 'em full of fishmeal, stick 'em in a box Chop their silly heads off, watch 'em run around You take out the feathers, throw away the beak Put them in the freezer for a couple of weeks And you cook 'em in an oven and you stick 'em on a plate And you slaver and you wriggle and you say "it looks great" You make 'em into gravy, get it on your face It's a shame and it's a disgrace They eat chicken in the Balkans, chicken in Rome I bet you even like to eat chicken at home Chicken in Bolivia, chicken in Peru I bet eating chicken is a thing you like to do They get chicken in the Balkans, chicken in Rome I bet you even like to eat chicken at home There's chicken in Bolivia, chicken in Peru Chicken in Kiev's a thing you shouldn't oughtta do And there's chicken, McChicken, anywhere at all And chicken's an atrocity, it's vile that's all There's chicken in Detroit, in Washington Square Chicken in the high street, chicken everywhere Chicken on holiday, chicken in jail Wake up in the morning, there's a chicken in the mail There's chicken on holiday, chicken in jail The cats get chicken from the garbage pail You raise 'em, race 'em, misplace 'em, replace 'em, You can boil it, or baste it, Just make sure that you waste it sample: [No regrets, no apologies... Just keep punching] Prize turkeys! I want to see the man in charge! sample: [Just keep punching] sample: [I don't want to kill 'em, I want the money] sample: [No regrets, no apologies] sample: [I'm hypnotized] sample: [I don't want to kill 'em, I want the money] Which came first the chicken or the egg? They get so damn crazy they eat their own legs (x6) Stuff 'em full of fishmeal, put 'em on the table Make 'em into gravy, get it on your shirt front (x3) It's disgusting! There's chicken on your shirt front, greasy and thick Someone tell the manager the chicken is sick The whole idea is sick. Have another drumstick. Chicken in the basket is the ladies' pick Sick! Chicken in Camden, Paddington too They even got chicken in the Regent Park Zoo There's chicken in China, chicken in Nepal Chicken over there dead hanging on the wall There's chicken in Syria, Daar-es-Salaam The whole population wants to do them harm There's chicken in Dublin Chicken in Spain Chicken in the slaughterhouse Chicken in the rain There's chicken in the library and on TV World-wide symbol of stupidity But if you ask me, they never had the chance to start with. Prize turkey's delight! (x2)
Sung to the tune of the 60's/70's TV advert for "Fry's Turkish Delight", as it goes.
Now this is how you get a chicken hypnotized You look the little motherfucker right in the eyes and say "Chicken, you will obey" Ah, they're laughing at the chickens, I can see them *A mess of samples and scattered words*

Found On

Buy These Records
Having ended up on Creation Records, which I took as a bit of a validation, I was keen to get as far away from all those "w" words that had followed my group around. The sessions were chaotic and funny. What disappoints me is that it came out sounding so SMOOTH and tidy. But I like Fishcotheque; I wish there more records as good as it.
[Fishcotheque cover thumbnail]
creation_records, Relativity Records
Edward's Closet
So you've got a CD player, have you? I've got a headache and an abiding dislike of expensive food crews in dumb baseball hats. I've been in Edward's Closet and he wasnt't in. "That JBC", they mutter at the bus-stop, "turned left at the light a Long Time Ago".
[Edward's Closet cover thumbnail]
creation_records CD
Spooky EP
Thanks for the money. We'll be spending it on weapons and drugs. The first thing that you have to understand about this disc is that it is not an L.P.: it is a single and a radio session nailed together for your amusement.
[Spooky EP cover thumbnail]
[Spooky 12er cover thumbnail]
creation_records 12er
One of the better Creation-era compilations. Canadian release.
[Unconditional cover thumbnail]
The Violent Years
Purchase Now
( )
[The Violent Years cover thumbnail]
Fire Records 4xCD

Pat Says

The Butcher Says..
"Edgar Wallace" means "serious" in surrealist rhyming slang, which is a good way to describe the toothache I had when O'Higgins and I did this mix. Odd barnyard noises may be blamed on the aforementioned The Perfect Disaster, who got in there somewhere. Source: Unconditional liner note
A rap which originally appeared on the indisposible Fishcotheque L.P. This version, specifically aimed at Italian discotheques, was set down through a haze of paracetemol, codeine & Red Stripe Lager in defiance of the most apalling toothache known to mankind, May '88 model. My thanks to the revolting O'Higgins for some serious mix magick. Linguistic note: "Edgar Wallace" is surrealist rhyming slang for "serious." Source: Spooky liner notes

Others Say

Others Say..
The voice at the beginning of “The Best Way” has bothered me for years. It seemed naggingly familiar, but I couldn’t place it.

It turns out it’s Bob Steele, and he’s familiar because when I was a kid, it was his voice I’d be listening to for school closing announcements.

Furthermore, Waybest Foods was located pretty much spitting distance from my house. And “the philosopher, Ken Morgester” who Steele mentions is the father of my high school classmate, Candice Morgester, who confirmed with her mother that Steele knew him. Trying to find some info about her father...

I finally took the radical action of asking friends if they recognized the voice. After that, it took only about a couple hours for the info to come out of the woodwork.

Bob Steele dominated morning radio in southern New England for decades, most of it on WTIC in Hartford. As a kid, I didn’t listen to much news radio, but he’s the one we’d tune into for snow day information. He semi-retired in 1991, but continued hosting a Saturday morning show until he died.

The town in question is South Windsor, CT. Source: William R. Dickson 2018-05-17 (Thursday, 17th of May 2018 - 5 years 204 days ago)

Live Stats

25 documented performances (click to explore)
1985 1 (JBC)
1988 7 (JBC)
1989 9 (JBC)
1990 8 (JBC)


30 second snippet
2 Recorded Live Performances
1989-12-09 Roxy Theatre - Los Angeles, USA West Coast '89 Cassette
1988-06-12 Odd Rock Cafe - Milwaukee, USA
Credit: Douglas Buege
Visitor Feedback
Visitors' comments for this page [Add your own]
  • Mondegreen
    el_one_bob[at] - Bob Unlikely
    23Apr2010 9:55 PM (13 years 229 days ago)
    Personally, I always heard "braised duckies".

    Which, I might add, is a good way to cook an otherwise fatty bird.
  • Prize turkeys
    bunny - Fairfax va
    22Dec2005 2:17 PM (17 years 353 days ago)
    I always thought it was Raise Duckies and I refuse to change the way I sing it. I like the image I get when I say Raise Duckies, after all. :)
  • "Prized turkeys!"
    billionbridges[at] - Canada
    4Nov2005 11:44 AM (18 years 36 days ago)
    For the longest time I misheard "Prized turkeys!" as, way for it...

    Rice duckies!

    It had always made perfect sense to me .
  • the Best Way
    purplevioletsquishies[at] - Salem, OR USA
    18Jan2005 2:37 AM (18 years 326 days ago)
    Somehow I get the distinct impression EVERY song done by Jazz Butcher is a good one. I only had exposure to their Distressed Gentlefolk album, Fishcoteque album & their Bloody Nonsense album in the 80's & early 90's. But I've sampled quite a few more of their songs on this site & they were all "bloody" good. I agree a thousand times (or more) with some of the comments posted by others on this site... the Jazz Butcher should make their old songs available again on artist friendly sites so one can at least pay $1.00 per song download to get whatever song of the Jazz Butcher they have been forced for so long to live without. I had the 3 above albums but was short sighted enough to part with them... along with a great song by William Tucker from the Swinging Pistons (who used to be in Ministry) who is now dead & you can't find his album anywhere. It'd be nice if the song he did before he died could be purchased & downloaded on an artist friendly site as well. He did the song "(Ever Since I Was Young), I Liked the Sound Of Machines. When a person cannot get a song like this on eBay or find it anywhere on the web... then things have reached "critical mass."
  • Chickentown
    bradleypeter[at] - Springfield, Mass
    7Jul2001 6:29 AM (22 years 157 days ago)
    I've always wondered if the sampled voice at the beginning of Chickentown was Hartford Ct. radio and tv legend Bob Steele? He was on WTIC Radio and TV for many years, and has only recently retired. Just wondering.

    Enjoy your music and your fertile imagination. When one buys a Jazz Butcher "album" one never knows what to expect, other than it will be interesting.

    Peter Bradley