The Jazz Butcher
The Jazz Butcher Lyrics Bicycle Kid


Bicycle Kid
He's a bicycle kid, He's got his Mister T. slippers.
He's a bicycle kid, he's eleven years old.
Dog-faced spawn of a working class Tory,
Bicycle kid never does what he's told.
He's a bicycle kid and he wants to get a crossbow.
Bicycle kid had a rabbit that died:
Evil little fucker put his pet through the window,
The he ran to his mother and he cried, cried, cried.


So cry like an onion bicycle kid,
'Coz I'm gonna get your for the things that you did.
Cry like an onion bicycle kid,
You're just another sucker at heart.

Bicyle kid - extortion in the playground.
What does he do with all the money he made?
Bicyle kid in Kentucky Fried Chicken
And the WHAM-BAM-RAMBO machine arcade.
He's a bicycle kid, and his mother's on Valium.
He's a bicycle kid, and his dad's on the lump.
He's a bicycle kid, and his tea's in the micro.
He's a bicycle kid and he's on the dump.


Bicycle kid shitting in a greenhouse.
Bicycle kid down at the aquadrome.
Bicycle kid in trouble with a policeman.
Bicycle kid "he's a good boy at home".
Bicycle kid grow up and get an Escort.

Ford Escort, that is. Eighties wide-boy motor
Bicycle kid grow up and get worse.
Bicycle kid forget to use a condom.
Bicycle kid! It's evolution in reverse!


You're an evil mother fucker.

Found On

Buy These Records
Big Planet, Scarey Planet
Early 1989 was, indeed a strange and desperate time after all that triumphalist Tory looting that had been going on. We listened to a lot of hip-hop and soul music at the time, and I think that we considered ourselves sufficiently HARD to take the whole fucker on in an l.p. Possibly with a more "clued-in" producer and a bit more self-discipline we could have come up with something like what we were looking for.
[Big Planet, Scarey Planet cover thumbnail]
creation_records, Genius
¬°Excellent! The Violent Years
Millions of years ago, dinosaurs ruled the Earth. Today the Galileo Space Probe orbits mighty planet Jupiter. The Jazz Butcher Conspiracy first appeared in June 1982 in the back room of the Black Lion in Northampton. They finally drank the bar dry in a small town in in Mallorca on the 20th August 1996
[¬°Excellent! The Violent Years cover thumbnail]
The Violent Years
Purchase Now
( )
[The Violent Years cover thumbnail]
Fire Records 4xCD

Pat Says

The Butcher Says..
He's Bicycle Bloke, now.

Live Stats

15 documented performances (click to explore)
1989 11 (JBC)
1990 1 (JBC)
2021 2 (Pat Solo)
1 (Tribute)


1 Recorded Live Performances
1989-11-28 Commodore Ballroom - Vancouver, Canada West Coast '89 Cassette
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Visitors' comments for this page [Add your own]
  • 2 stories: one new, one old
    pwilnyc[at] - Paula, Baltimore, MD, US
    27Jul2006 7:52 AM (17 years 128 days ago)
    My friend Loren met this kid in the parking lot at Target.
    It brought to mind an old story.
  • better drunk and dry
    skwish[at] - portland 0r, U
    2Jan2006 1:56 PM (17 years 334 days ago)
    to big & fat now to cycle,even tho I lost my drvs Lic I still drive, get out of my road bicycle kid!!!