The Jazz Butcher


Real Men
See them leering at the women
See them staring at the girls
Making stupid secret gestures
And shouting stupid senseless words
Oh, they're stronger than a sheet of metal
And they're in the rugby club reserves
They buy the wife a birthday kettle
These are strong men getting on my nerves


Real men, real men from hell
Real men, real men from hell

Faster than a speeding bullet
See them leaping off that train
All their clothes are stained and dirty
All their girlfriends are ashamed
Real men like to go to the boozer
They play bad darts and they drink bad beer
They get too drunk they look for trouble
And they ask punk rockers if they're queer

wot you got that hat on for?


All these narrow-minded sun-fed suckers
They're ignorant and they're kept that way
It suits the prats who pay their money
So that is how they're going to stay

Those real men beat on blacks and faggots
Real men stalk in every town
Flash and feisty, mean and nasty
Those real men really get me down


Wouldn't happen in China

Real men, real men from Spain
Real men, real men from Mars
Real men, real men from hell
Real men, real men from Hull
Real men, real men from Leeds
Real men, real men from hell
Real men, real men from hell
Real men, real men from hell

Found On

Buy These Records
Real Men
Real Men, the kind who never sit together on buses in case they get their medallions tangled.
[Real Men cover thumbnail]
Glass Records 12er
A Scandal In Bohemia
The Albatross. A record, I feel, of its time. We were young(ish) and cocky and I think it shows. I still haven't learned to sing on this one, which bugs me too. Still, it was cheap and cheerful, and it helped us to meet an awful lot of people.
Purchase Now
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[A Scandal In Bohemia cover thumbnail]
Glass Records
The Gift Of Music
This record collects together the various singles that have been issued in England to date under the much-abused name of the Jazz Butcher, to wit: me. I rather like having them all in one place like this - it makes for a nice, noisey muck-it-up sort of disc that is ideal for leisure time at home, on the beach, in you local club.... hell, ANYWHERE!!!
[The Gift Of Music cover thumbnail]
Glass Records
Bloody Nonsense
The Jazz Butcher and his group are not in the business of belonging; they are too old and too obstreperous to conform to some attention-seeking image or commercially viable formula. Rather, they bring their not inconsiderable talents to bear on whatever happens to be in the way at the time. The results can only be described as essential.
[Bloody Nonsense cover thumbnail]
We were all disappointed at the way this came out. The concert was great, but logistics prevented us from making anything much more than a glorified bootleg. Still, live albums are best as souvenirs anyway, so I guess some people regard it fondly. Lots of entertaining photos to look at anyway...
[Hamburg cover thumbnail]
glass_records, Rebel LP
Draining The Glass
Glass Records era compilation.
Purchase Now
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[Draining The Glass cover thumbnail]
Fire Records
The Wasted Years
Featuring ‘Bath Of Bacon’, ‘A Scandal In Bohemia’, ‘Sex And Travel’ and ‘Distressed Gentlefolk’.
Purchase Now
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[The Wasted Years cover thumbnail]
Fire Records 4xCD
Dr Cholmondley Repents: A​-​sides, B​-​Sides and Seasides
Four CD box set gathering A-sides, the would-be hits along with B-sides, tangential 12-inch tracks (the C-sides), and an excellent session for Los Angeles radio station KCRW from 1989.

Includes over a dozen indie chart hits including ‘Southern Mark Smith’, ‘Girl Go’, ‘The Human Jungle’, ‘16 Years’ plus a host of truly eclectic Butcher tunes from his early Glass recordings through his time at Creation.

Purchase Now
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[Dr Cholmondley Repents: A​-​sides, B​-​Sides and Seasides cover thumbnail]
Fire Records 4xCD

Pat Says

The Butcher Says..
Real Men, the kind who never sit together on buses in case they get their medallions tangled. Source: The Gift Of Music liner notes
Some things never change. Notice how they never sit together on buses? Source: A Scandal In Bohemia liner notes

Live Stats

30 documented performances (click to explore)
1984 4 (JBC)
1985 10 (JBC)
1986 1 (JBC)
1988 10 (JBC)
1989 1 (JBC)
1990 1 (JBC)
1997 1 (JBC)
2004 1 (Pat Solo)
2021 1 (Tribute)


30 second snippet
1 Recorded Live Performances
1988-06-12 Odd Rock Cafe - Milwaukee, USA
Credit: Douglas Buege
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