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Date: Thu, 8 Dec 1994 17:25:27 +0000 (GMT)
Subject: JBC superhighway infiltraton
Golly. Oi`m just a country lad, me, so you`ll excuse me if my
communication suffers from chronic future-shock mind-fuck scenario...
"Oh no, not C.F.S.M.F.S.," I hear you squawk, "Not that old sucker."
Hello, Turner here, tuning in and freaking out (not to mention
passing out... the facilities for...erm...maintaining the students at
this here seat of learning are to be recommended) on the orgy of
facts, figures and fun that is ButcherFunk International. And,
frankly, I`m impressed (not to say a little bewildered at the sheer
volume of shit contained herein).
I guess that, seeing as I`m here now, I ought to contribute some
information which may be deemed as of some interest, but I hear
(through slightly more conventional means of communication... the
British Royal Mail is a wonderful thing) that Fishy himself has
already been in telecommunicational enlightenment mode and, being the
technological ingenue that I am, I cannot find said missive myself,
so you`ll have to forgive me if I repeat (or wildly contradict) shit
contributed by the big B. I s`pose I`d also better think of something
to say (heck, I just wanted to dial up, I didn`t realise you actually
had to have things to say)...
Also (in strictly Teutonic terms)... It seems to have filtered
through that we`ve now finished recording the new waxing... I have a
cassette of it in my pocket right at this moment... and, to tell the
honest, I (at least) think it`s a damned fine record (I`m allowed to
say shit like that... I`m just the drummer and, as such, am permitted
neither pride nor modesty nor blame for the sonic dribblings of the,
uh, artistic members of the band). Whilst sat at the desk, quietly
muttering to himself in the `eccentric` manner of all producers,
David J. was heard to mutter the epithet `definitive`, and I for one
would like to think that he wasn`t entirely talking drug-addled
hyperbole. It does a rather fine job of encapsulating most of the
spectrum of Butcher recordings (i.e. bits of it are almost as
miserable as Condition Blue, and other bits are, in all candour,
stupid). McGee is letting us have a single (a rarity in this country,
I believe "Girl Go" was the last), and the current concensus seems to
have a song called Sixteen Years" marked out as prime contender
(broadly, I have to say that I agree... it pulss off a trick
essential in a good pop single, namely that it sounds at it`s very
best on one`s first listening). I think Pat might favour "Cute
Submarines" as the choice, but it bothers me that, although it`s
certainly one of the stronger tracks we`ve recorded, it`s precisely
the kind of thing that has us branded "risible" in some
(unenlightened) corners. Still, he`s the Butcher. Whatev....
We`re still looking for a title for the album (all suggestions
gratefully ridiculed)... pace-setters from the brainstorming session
include "The Bad Neighbourhood", "Church of Snakes", "Your Kids Are
All Evil", "Punk Punk Punk Punk Punk" and, considering that this is
the Butcher`s (difficult) tenth album, "One More Than Beethoven". Oh
and Pat likes "Progressive". Me? I want to call the record
"Doojophilia", but I think I`m gonna be overruled on the grounds that
it`s a fucking dumb idea. Dooj has played a blinder on this outing,
burbling away like a trooper. DOOJ IS COOL, as the studio catchphrase
had it. And so say all of us. This slogan should be added to his
biog. Do it now, you know it makes sense.
Um... I think that`s about as much recording gossip as I can be doing
with (largely on the grounds that, in the face of the magnificent and
replete Butch-fest that I find myself presently linked to, I can`t
believe that anybody finds us THAT interesting). Previous communiques
seem to indicate that you are after a bit of other information, which
reads as follows:
GABRIEL ALEXANDER (Yowsa, not another one) TURNER (The Bishop):
Drumming, singing, smoking, drinking.
The only regular patron of the Love Bus under thirty (like by ten
years, as it goes). Joined J.B.C. through pure serendipity in spring
1994 (The story briefly: Gabriel is JBC fan. Gabriel goes to see JBC
perform in London - New Cross Venue, November 27th 1993. Gabriel
notices that JBC are drumless (I`m disappointed that there is no
mention of COLIN - JBC drum machine, spritual mentor and, unlike the
rest of the band, also in The Black Eg - in your list of
conspirators). Gabriel remembers that he can play drums. Gabriel
makes mental note to speak to Butcher post gig. Butcher plays gig.
Butcher breaks guitar. Gabriel decides this not right time to speak
to Butcher. Gabriel goes home and writes Butcher letter. Butcher
calls Gabriel. "Fancy playing drums for us," asks Butcher. "Yowsa,"
replies Gabriel. And the rest is disturbingly extensively documented
elsewhere in technoland).
Turner keywords: Jagermeister, Maxwin, Yokel.
I had more to dribble, but I`m being forcibly ejected...
Speak to you soon, invisible pals o` mine...