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The Jazz Butcher Conspiracy : Mailing List : 1996

From the newsdesk

From: David Whittemore <>
Date: Fri 29 Nov 1996 - 20:50:50 PST

HOUSE OF SUMO: News desk

THE TAO OF FERGIE Reports reach the news desk that book shops all over London have been thrown into confusion by the mysterious appearance on their shelves of a new and unsolicited volume.

The hardback book, which was slipped by unseen agency onto the shelves of a number of stores, is apparently bound in a hideous red leatherette, and bears the title "The Tao Of Fergie".

This unexpected arrival of extra stock was hardly noticed by staff, but when browsers tried to lift the book from the shelf they found that all the pages were loose, falling all over the floor.

These 'pages' proved to be colourful and ineptly forged bank notes, bearing an image of the Duchess of York and drawn on the "Bank Of Sumo".

Of course, it took a moment or two for some excited customers to realise that they were not dealing with a real cash windfall. There have been heated scenes in the Charing Cross Road, and one Islington shop assistant claims she was bitten in the melee when a customer opened the door, fanning the 'bank notes' all over the shop.

So far the phenomenon seems to be confined to London, with about a dozen shops reporting the appearance of "The Tao of Fergie" on their shelves. No publisher has come forward and the 'authors' remain unknown.

LONDON - 25th November 1996

-david Received on Fri Nov 29 20:50:50 1996

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